Jennette McCurdy – who claims she experienced abuse from her late mom, Debra – is standing by her decision to name her memoir “I’m Glad My Mom Died.”
“I get that it’s attention-grabbing but it’s also something that I mean sincerely,” she said of the title during an interview on “Good Morning America” on Wednesday.
The “iCarly” alum, 30, explained that she wasn’t using the title in a “flippant” way and believes that people who have also been abused will understand the point she is trying to convey.
“While the response might be divided, I really appreciate the positivity that I received from a lot of people,” she said.
“I think that anybody who has experienced parental abuse understands this title and I think anybody who has a sense of humor understands this title.”
McCurdy added that she’s “not so concerned” with the opinions of anybody else, noting that “this book is not for them.”
McCurdy also shared that at times, she still misses her mom, who died in 2013 from cancer. However, she admitted that she would not have written her memoir if her mom were still alive because she would still have her “identity dictated by her.”
“Grief for me towards my mom used to be really complicated. I’d feel angry and confused at why I felt angry that I was grieving her,” McCurdy explained.
“I felt like she didn’t deserve my tears and my sadness since she was abusive, but it simplified in a really relieving way and now feels like I’m able to just miss her. I think that is only possible because of the healing that happened through the writing of the book.”
Throughout her tell-all book, McCurdy detailed the abusive behavior her mother allegedly exhibited while she was growing up and during her rise to fame while starring in “iCarly” and the spinoff series, “Sam & Cat.”
“I start shrinking by the week as Mom and I team up to count our calories every night and plan our meals for the next day. We’re keeping me on a 1,000-calorie diet, but I have the smart idea that if I only eat half my food, I’ll only be receiving half the calories, which means that I will be shrinking twice as fast,” McCurdy wrote in her tome (via ET).
“Each Sunday, she weighs me and measures my thighs with a measuring tape. After a few weeks of our routine, she provides me with a stack of diet books that I finish quickly… I weigh myself five times a day.”
McCurdy alleged that when a doctor expressed that she may have had anorexia, her mom denied knowing about any food habits. She also shared that her weight dropped so low that she was using a booster seat in the car at age 14.
The actress also claimed that her mom would bathe her every time she had to shower and conduct “a breast and ‘front butt’ exam,” adding that when she was 16 years old, her mom would even shave her daughter’s legs.
“She says she wants to make sure I don’t have any mysterious lumps or bumps because those could be cancer. I say okay because I definitely don’t want cancer, and since Mom’s had it and all, she would know if I do,” she wrote.
“I usually just try and think of Disneyland when Mom’s doing the exams… By the time the exams are done, a huge wave of relief washes over my whole body and I usually realize that’s the first time I’ve felt my body since the exam started.”
McCurdy added that when she started to become famous, her mom started resenting her.
“Fame has put a wedge between Mom and me that I didn’t think was possible. She wanted this. And I wanted her to have it. I wanted her to be happy,” she wrote.
“But now that I have it, I realize that she’s happy and I’m not. Her happiness came at the cost of mine. I feel robbed and exploited. Sometimes I look at her and I just hate her. And then I hate myself for feeling that.”
McCurdy also recalled the time her mom found out she had started dating – but was not yet sexually active. She wrote in her book that her mother was verbally abusive, calling her a “FILTHY LITTLE LYING W—E,” and “nothing more than a little S–T, a FLOOZY, ALL USED UP.”
Among other abuses, McCurdy claims her mother also lied to her about who her biological father was. She says her eating disorder continued even after her mother died – but she has since sought professional help.
“My mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me. She gave me breast and vaginal exams until 17 was years old… When I was 6 years old, she pushed me into a career I didn’t want… She taught me an eating disorder when I was 11 years old – an eating disorder that robbed me of my joy and any amount of free-spiritedness that I had. She never told me my father was not my father,” McCurdy wrote.
“Her death left me with more questions than answers, more pain than healing, and many layers of grief – the initial grief from her passing, then the grief of accepting her abuse and exploitation of me, and finally, the grief that surfaces now when I miss her and start to cry – because I do still miss her and start to cry.”
Among her toxic relationship with her mom, McCurdy also claims she was offered $300,000 in hush money not to speak publicly about her tenure on Nickelodeon.
She also shared why she detested her former co-star Ariana Grande.